Seeking Approval

I'm trying to be true to myself. Too often we bend to other people's wants or needs or ideals. It can be as simple as altering yourself momentarily to fit in with a conversation or a crowd, or it can be something that can last a lifetime.
I've been living like that for quite some time. For almost all my life so far actually. And the people I've been bending to? My family.
The beliefs and expectations my parents have instilled in me have been drilled and fine tuned over the course of many years. I jumped off that conveyor belt of expectation a few years ago when I left a secure career to pursue music. But not only that, I left my country to do it.

You would think that that would have been the start of living my own life. It was actually only the start of realising just how much I lived to try to please them. For years I've been trying (very unsuccessfully) to manage a balancing act. Only now have I realised that that just doesn't work. I can't find that magic place where we both meet in the middle and everyone is happy. I can't find that place, because it doesn't exist. That discovery was made quite painfully, in a trial by fire, but the burns were worth it. I now know the only life I can lead is my own. Steering by my own inner voice and choices - no matter the consequence. The beautiful part being that I know whatever the consequences - I will deal with them.
I spent my whole life seeking approval from the one person I desire it most from. I now have acceptance that that may never come. Does it hurt? Yes. Will it keep me seeking it? No. And that's the difference.
The painful part, the part where guilt can creep in, is the fact that I know my choices are hurting the two people that love me the most. And that their wishes for me are sincerely what they believe is best for me. But there is no middle ground here. I can't live someone else's life. I would be so unhappy. And can you, should you, sacrifice your happiness for someone else? I'll leave you to fill in that blank because I know what my personal answer is.
Once again, I leave you with an excerpt from Steve Jobs' Stanford Commencement speech:

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
Steve Jobs