What is it they say?
That if you love something let it go and if it comes back to you then you'll know? And if it doesn't, it was never yours in the first place? Well, that butterfly flew back quick! And the clouds broke.
(Incidentally, when I wrote that last blog, the skies grew dark, thunder struck, lightening bolted and the heavens opened. It seemed to match my mood perfectly. But it lasted an hour and the day was returned to sunshine and blue skies. Much like my life shortly after).
As I always say, everything is for a reason. And I'm even more convinced now that everything is going in the perfect direction. You have to see past what brings you down. Sometimes it takes a seeming eternity, sometimes a moment. But trust that there's a divine order in the chaos.
That 'bad' conclusion that was reached yesterday led me to a new beginning. A new truth. And an honest start. What I wanted to do was rid myself of negativity. Mission accomplished. Especially because most of it was coming from me. And was born out of fear.
I thought I had faced my worst fears last year (and I had), but the one that never quite goes away is the fear of losing someone you love. But looking that fear in the face yesterday was an empowering thing. Choosing to feel the pain, but remain hopeful. Face the loss but know that you're gaining.
What I really learned was that I was never going to lose anything. And both parties were acting out of fear - something I told myself I would never do. But still, facing it was powerful. And letting go gave me strength - the strength to actually fight for it. It also gave me knowledge. That I wasn't the only one willing to fight for it.
And letting go of something I loved made me realise just how much I loved that butterfly. And beautifully, just how much that butterfly loves me :-)
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