The Remix

I don't know whether this is a universal thing or just particular to little old me, but I have this mental trait that is really not beneficial. And pointless on top of that. It's definitely the most pronounced in that minefield that is relationships. We could have a conversation. A really great conversation. We could iron problems out, open up to each other more, get real honest and at the same time very loving. You could say a hundred amazing things to me that are beautiful and on any given day would just set my soul on fire and I'd be on cloud nine. So why, oh why, do I leave that conversation and fixate on the one partially negative thing that was said? And to get even more honest with you I should really rephrase that. Why do I focus on the one slightly uncomfortable, but honest and positive thing you said and contort it into something deeper, uglier, hurtful and more negative? My own little personal spin on things. Why?! I obviously have one particular thing doing the waltz round my mind right now. It was actually a really beautiful, honest thing I was told. But the 'spin' I put on it is all my own. Assuming that the other person has to think like me. That their explanation and definitions just can't be true because I don't think that way or fully understand it. It's pretty disrespectful of a person's feelings.

The only upside to this nasty little habit of mine is that powerful thing that you'll often hear me harp on about - awareness. So I make sure I focus on the other 99.9999999% of wonderfulness we were talking about. But more importantly, with that little uncomfortable piece of info I received, I'm focusing on listening to what was actually said to me - no personal touches, no new renditions, no remixes. Just what is.