12 Months, 12 Rounds

A year ago today I took a risk and opened up a huge new chapter in my life - and a can of worms with it. A year ago today, I let someone fully into my life that changed pretty much everything for me. I was in a rut without fully realising the extent of it and the days were dark. This person was sunshine, and boy, did they shine so bright it really highlighted what was wrong in my life.
Letting this person in led to a lot of change. And it was painful, heartbreaking, soul searching change. They were a catalyst for it that was sorely needed. But it was growth that was inevitable.
In with the new often means out with old, and sometimes 'the old' doesn't take that too well. In this case 'the old' took it so badly that they set about trying to hurt me in any way possible. 'The old' aimed to destroy every single aspect of my life that they could - happiness, that new sunshine I had discovered, love, safety, freedom, work, career, where I lived, and worst of all, my family. And for a moment, it looked like they did.
I remember last summer when everything hit the fan. I was sipping on some hot chocolate, talking to my best friend back home in London telling her that I had lost everything. But the funny part was that I was saying it with a smile. When you feel you've lost everything, and you've had to face your worst fears, but you're still standing and breathing (no mean feat in this situation) you realise that you survived. You can survive anything.
The fight may have just begun but you know you're gonna go those full 12 rounds and come out victorious.
My friend said to me, "Just come home. You can start again. You're gonna be ok. We're here, we love you and we'll get through it. You'll be fine." I knew she was right.
It didn't quite go down that way though. It went better.
I learned so much. I learned about anger, resentment, pain, loneliness and longing. I learned about people, about life, love and forgiveness. I learned about myself. Everything that I 'lost' has been returned to me, only now it's with the added light of truth and it's so much better than before. It was tough. It still is. And not everything has been fully resolved, but I'm well on the road to doing so.
And that sunshine? Well I thought I had lost it. But as in any storm, it was still there. Obscured by clouds momentarily but ever present. And I'm forever grateful for sunshine :-)