Paying Dues

I have to admit that sometimes I stop, take a look around at my situation and the things that have happened to me and I make a silent cry to the universe, "Ok, enough! Enough now!" Yesterday night, after hours and hours of working, was one of those moments. At times it can feel like you have been paying your dues FOREVER. That the trials you've had to face, the tears shed, the losses, the blood, sweat and tears of it all are so plentiful that the pendulum just has to swing the other way. Any minute... Any minute now...
But how much is enough? And who is dealing the cards anyway?
I believe it all comes down to you. Just not in the simple way you'd like it to. I truly believe that you are the creator of your situations. We focus so much on the negative and on lack that that is what we end up perpetuating more and more of. I guess I'm getting into the realm of the Law of Attraction which is something I definitely believe in. Always have (even when I couldn't formulate it in my mind), and always will.
But, I also believe the idea that life will give you whatever you truly need (pain and all) to learn the lessons that will aid your growth and benefit your future.
You could argue that these are opposing views. That if you follow the Law of Attraction then why learn these lessons? Your life is gonna be so rosy that you won't even need them. But who on this earth knows anyone that keeps a positive, present state of mind 100% of the time...? I didn't think so.

But back to paying dues...
It can be tough. Really tough. But somehow you have to maintain the faith that 'it's all for a reason'. If there's anyone out there that read that phrase and rolled their eyes, let me save you some time, you probably shouldn't keep reading my blog! I truly, truly believe that. I have faith in the greater power and to be honest I just know it to be true. I have always looked back at situations and seen either the value of them, what I gained from them or what I learned. And at the end of the day, those experiences all added up to making me.
The beauty in living with that mentality is that now I don't need retrospect. I can be smack bang in the middle of my version of hell and usually (not always, nobody's perfect!) am already either counting my blessings or looking for the rhyme or reason.

Yesterday's moment didn't last long at all. I was thankful for the money I was earning, for a gorgeous, incredibly hot day in New York City, for working with amazing people that I can laugh with daily, for the heart warming conversation I had with a loved one when I got home, and then last but never ever least - I am thankful each and every day for my beautiful baby Belle.

Very simple but very effective, and also very true is a mantra that consistently rotates round my head in tough times - 'I will be fine'. And I will. And so will you :-)